Fun Chapter Names for "Mizzen: An Aquatic Dog's Life"

November 24, 2016  •  Leave a Comment

Mizzen: An Aquatic Dog LifeBook in development.

In development, here are some "based on a true story" chapter names about this dog's wacky life:

#1 Sold For Drugs! Two-month-old AKC Chessie recalls finding his forever home after chain-smoking-hoody-people from Craigslist handed him to strangers for two Franklins at midnight one Sunday in a rural Maryland mini-mart parking lot. 

#2 Puppy Survives 11 Days at Stormy Sea: Salty survival story of the three contiguous gulf stream crossings amid 19-foot waves that nearly sent a sailboat, its crew, and one courageous Chesapeake Bay Retriever to an early Neptunian grave.

#3 Part One-He's a Lover Not a Biter: True tale of how Mizzen didn't attack a Bahamian boy and I contemplated doing time in an impoverished, foreign jail. 

Part Two-Police officials offended by offer of $213 (aka everything in my purse) to drop false biting charges. Bahamian complainant, happy to make a few bucks, takes the money and runs.

#4 Dog-Napping at Dusk: Story of how five Bahamians lured an unsuspecting Mizzen into their dirty, broken down car then demanded $40 for his safe return.

#5 Chase But Don't Taste: Fearing for their lives, fully-clothed islanders run, jump into swimming pool with viciously friendly, 125-lb dog/beast barking at their heels.

#6 Ending Pervasive Pup Gingervitis: A redheaded dog's determination to stop canine ginger discrimination here and abroad.

#7 Cuckoo for Coconuts: They're a toy! They're a food! Mizzen's joyous compulsion to peel the hairy orbs, drink the precious milk, and snack on the juicy meat inside.

#8 Don't Drink the (Salt) Water: Top tips to avoid what experts call the "butt fountain phenomena," a liquidy, surprise spewing of anal propulsion. 

#9 Hurricane Danger and Me: Never before told story of a dog's island airlift to safety and how an emergency vet flew in on a charter plane to ensure rabies vaccine compliance.

#10 The Tide is High But I'm Holding On: For the first time, Mizzen shares details of an investigation into his propensity to end up swimming with the (river) fishes time and again. 

#11 Stingrays and Sharks Are NOT a Dog's Best Friend: Exclusive interview with expat animal who avoided death by steering clear of the ocean's hungry mouths.

#12 How a Raw Meat Diet and Probiotics Changed My Life: A dog's fight to remain mobile as an incurable paralysis crept up his paws.

Conclusion--Sincerely, Mizzen: A woofy, goodbye love letter to canine and people pals around the globe.  


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